An open letter to God from an atheist/ Lindsey Michelle [lyrics]

     Open the eyes of my heart Lord 

I used to reach up my small hands on Sunday service searched no for God

     Open the eyes of my heart 

Thinking that my small hands must just need to try harder stretch further to feel him 

I would force my fingers out the dry skin between that would begin to crack 

but still I was singing 

     I want to see you 

I was searching for God and clenching my eyes

I was crying while singing over and over again 

     I want to see you 

Trying to press my heart into his hands and touch him 

and all of it while wondering what was wrong with my hands 

I went to Christian camp for five summers searching for God 

and not once did he leave with me. 

Try to be with me when I packed up my bags and went home.

I sit there singing bible songs around the campfire trying so hard to grab a whole bread 

like hell was frustration and empty spaces 

but I kept trying because every summer that I went to camp 

I swore that I can almost taste it 

like this sweet tip of the tongue sensation 

so I closed my eyes and chased it but time after time it faded. 

I pray to a God that I never found for patients. 

How has every other person here managed to find this 

why am I the misfit in this situation 

when I'm trying 

I'm trying so hard. 

I'm crying 

since I was seven I've been singing 

     Open the eyes of my heart lord 

The top of my fingertips without any answer. 

Why haven't he responded to me. 

Answering machine after answering machine 

I'm beginning to think that maybe he doesn't give a shit. 

God you are the almighty hypocrite. 

Your own book promised 

seek and you shall find me. 

Knock and the door will be open 

Dear god 

if you are there then take your on the waiting list off the shelf and turn that page, 

that no takes every time that I got lost looking for you. 

Every time that my hands found none reaching for you. 

Can you even tell me how many talents are net to the phrase 

she stood on your doorstep shivering. 

Do you remember that my knuckles were bloodying from knocking so long?